First off I just want to say that I really don't care if people choose to wear braided extensions, or fake hair of any kind. It is not my life journey so who am I to judge. I learned many years ago what works for me. And extensions, fake hair, relaxers, jeri curls etc. not for me at all. What may make no sense to some is that some black women still like to have the versatility of having long hair one month and having their natural out.
I made assumptions about black men with dreadlocks. I assumed that they would only be attracted to black women who were on a natural hair journey. I thought that because they love their dreadlocks then they would only want to be with someone who has similar views about what it is to have natural hair. Especially black women in this world today. So many black women are still wearing braided extensions. It seems to have made a comeback of sorts. I have noticed more black women wearing braided extensions of different colors like back in the 80's. It is yet another hair trend once again resurfacing from the not so distant past.
Black Women used to and still do view braided extensions as a protective style. I am not here to judge that. I just know that from personal experience of having braided extensions in the late 80's they are not for me on my spiritual journey. It felt odd and wrong for me to use synthetic or even worse human hair on my head. I am not saying that I am more spiritual than someone who wears braided extensions either. I am just a bit surprised that someone who is so into the naturalness of their own hair can be with someone who is not. Especially when it comes to two people coming together as a spiritually divine couple.
But that is not what everyone on this Earth wants. I know that many black women are teased about their hair and there is a certain level of professionalism that we black women have to maintain in order to get a job, get respect, and find love. So that is what so many black women have been sold through commercial ads on tv, through cheesy ass movies supposedly catered to the black community and the rising of respect for the black woman. A black man can step outside his home with freeform dreadlocks and no one would bat an eye in the neighborhood I am living in. But once my crown is exposed all laugh and point or walk away quickly in fear.
I still feel as though deep down inside the reason why black women still wear extensions is because they feel like there is a lack somewhere. And when I say a lack, I mean a lack of confidence to sport whatever length of hair you have. Little black girls dream of having long straight hair flowing in the breeze with hair reaching the length of the floor. The longer the extensions the more inadequate the feelings are about the self. I know there will be black women who read this blog and get mad because they still get extensions put in their hair. If you are going to get extensions know why. I don't just get them just because it's in style or because you wish to have long long hair to catch a mate. I got caught in that trap and got out successfully.
I have to admit that it does irk me a bit if a black man has really long dreadlocks and talks about the importance of natural hair and loving women with dreadlocks and natural hair but then started getting interested in a woman with braided extensions. The psychology is real on the reason why black men with dreadlocks date women who wear extensions. There can be a number of reasons. I am going to list a few:
1. As a little boy a black man may have seen his mom wear wigs, get her hair braided with synthetic or human hair.
2. As a little boy a black man may have seen many commercials of black women and relaxer commercials, carefree curl commercials etc.
3. As a little boy a black man may have seen that most of the little black girls in the school that he attends 5 days a week always have their hair processed with a relaxer, in extension braids, or with a carefree curl
4.As an adult a black man may have witnessed how black women with straightened hair, a wig on, or braided extensions get better jobs and more respect.
5. As an adult a black man may have dated a white woman and become use to the straightness of her hair and decided that her just prefers for his mate to have uniform, totally conformist hair so as not to embarrass him.
6. As an adult a black man may notice that if he takes woman with braided extensions home to his mom he may gain more respect that if he were to bring home a black woman with freeform dreadlocks.
My point in talking about this subject in the first place is that black woman of this earth have been brainwashed just as much as black men have been on this planet. Our concerns and our rights became watered down over time and we have become complacent. Black men have turned away from black women who have decided to let their hair freeform . I see more and more black men feeling so self conscious about who they are with and still following trends and pop culture.
How can a black man claim to have total love for his natural hair and still be involved in a relationship with a black woman who does not appreciate or care for the natural curl and length of her hair. Women seem to always want a quick fix in order to look approachable to the male sex. Why ? Because the love for the self is absent. I am done and have been done for several decades with trying to please the world with how I present my outside appearance.
So to conclude this what may seem like a rant about black women and black men not appreciating what is on their head, I would like to say that I have respect for both black women and black men because in this society I am seen to the world as a black woman with a nappy head. Many people who are uneducated about my hair assume that I never wash my freeform dreadlocks and a lot of people don't even know what dreadlocks are . Sounds crazy but I once had a woman ask me if the hair on my head was my own hair. That was when my dreads gained some length. My mother in law just called my dreads braids. Many automatically assume that I am dumb and not worth time talking to because I don't look like I am part of the herd. Well I don't give a shit!
The 6
